I’m SO done!

For a few years I had a great job working in a second hand store in charge of the book department. This gave me wonderful opportunities to see and experience authors I might never have found otherwise. Several of the authors that are now favorites were found during this time: The Black Dagger Brotherhood books by J.R. Ward, The Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon, The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher AND Outlander by Diana Gabaldon.

In contemplating this particular post, I did some digging. Here are some interesting bits I came up with:

so-done-meme-4

Now, in that two year stretch I followed many people and had a few follow me. I never expected to have more than 100 or so people following me, so my current number is a bit humbling. Some of the people that have chosen to follow me humble me even further as, they are people I greatly respect both as human beings and artists (in several areas of creativity).

I remember how exciting those early days were for the series on social media. The thrill that someone as knowledgeable and well respected as RD Moore would be at the helm. That they were going to have Diana participating and giving suggestions. The very idea of seeing such a beloved story come to life and all the discussion that went into it. There were some negative comments early on about casting – understandable as these were long beloved characters that people wanted to see done right. And they most definitely were. The negative comments died down fairly quickly and everyone on Twitter just seemed to enjoy the process.

I remember voting early on. We had a united front to get our show out there so it could be seen. Introducing it through voting to people who had never heard of it. Being told over and over what a great fandom we had. How the Outlander fans were appalled by the nastiness and in-fighting going on in other fandoms. Well look at us now.

So here is my statement: so-done-step-2

To the anti’s….honest….Sam and Caitriona are grown people that can defend themselves or not as they wish. Defending the fandom and its integrity is great, but several have stooped to the same abhorrent methods the shippers used and became just as much of a problem.

Shippers – I am SO SO SO done defending your ‘right to fan as you wish’ because you just won’t. You won’t quietly fan/ship and leave the rest of us alone to fan as WE wish. You started this war by attacking people that dared to disagree with you and it has not stopped. There is proof and all know it. I’m sick of the ‘we are victims’ – and ‘how is it ok to hate us?!” WAAAAAAAAA I never directly attacked shippers but I’m done being nice. You want to ship? FINE go bloody do it elsewhere and leave the rest of the fans who don’t happen to agree with you, are tired of constantly seeing your crap about it and sick of being attacked for views that don’t match yours, alone. You keep attacking and being nasty….all I can say is karma can be a real bitch…expect it to come back and bite you in the ass. It’s too bad all shippers are being painted with the same brush now –  but then, they haven’t done anything to deal with the problem either.

Honestly, we can never get rid of the fringe – just like in politics. The real problem children will be there; ignoring them won’t make them go away it just gives them more room to maneuver and get a stronger hold and longer reach.

So my second statement is to the rest of the fandom.

 so-done-meme

For all the people who just said ‘ignore them, they will stop eventually’, that didn’t stand up for people being attacked, that didn’t work on ways to fix these problems, that know some of these ‘problem children’ and have done nothing, that went blissfully on ignoring the problems because it didn’t directly affect you. I’m disappointed. This fandom as done some truly wonderful, awesome things over the last few years – can we continue to do that with all the infighting? Shippers vs the world….Jamie fans that are rude to those that like Frank….hateful things said to actors because of the characters they play….most of all, attacking each other over a diffence of opinion. I don’t mean honest exchange and discussion, I mean nasty names and comments if one person doesn’t agree with another. We always said voting in those polls we would never be a toxic fandom like we were seeing there…and here we are.

Is the whole fandom doing the bad stuff? Of course not – but enough that it has been well noticed and documented outside the fandom. I have tried to speak out here on this blog (not very effectively it seems) and be nice while doing it. I’ve tried to be a voice of reason in tweets, but people have to be willing to listen to the other side. So…I’m done trying. The few of us trying just aren’t going to cut it – the majority of the fandom would need to get involved to make changes and, at this point, I just don’t see it happening.

My online presence won’t really change much. I still plan to enjoy the show, interact with individuals and follow people or not as my own sense dictates. I’ll still vote when I can (though not nearly as often) and promote the great things that come along. I will 100% support the cast and crew of this show – but I’m done getting involved with the politics. I’ve tried. If you look back at this blog I’ve spoken out over and over and over again about the negative things that have gone on. I had one person I thought of as a friend dump me, unfollow me and ‘slap’ me verbally for ‘just stirring up trouble so people would notice me’. Few listen, few read the blog (compared to the size of the fandom) and if I’m not making a positive change with all I have written, what is the point?

I’m using lists to look at Twitter mostly now rather than going through my main timeline. I’m going to miss posts. Missing all the political stuff is fine with me. It doesn’t seem like I’m following many compared to the ‘stars’ …. But even the number I have can keep me on social media far too long. I have a life away from social media and Outlander. Other shows to watch, other books to read (and write) and other actors to follow and support.

Studying the fandom has been fascinating to me. It really IS a microcosm of the larger population. The fringe left and right stirring up trouble, lying and misconstruing/twisting things to support their own agenda. The far (not fringe) left and right getting whipped up by what the fringe says and expanding the problems/issues rather than looking for a way to make things better and then all the middle people that wish the rest would get some sense so things could actually get done.

As always….comments are more than welcome – be respectful, be coherent and sign your name. I won’t support some lame ass that is too chicken to put their name on their own opinion.

I think my next post will be about Frank. (Rubbing hands gleefully).

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20 thoughts on “I’m SO done!

  1. albertarose says:

    It’s too bad these people can’t see beyond their noses… Frank/Jack are an integral part of this wonderful story. With out either of these characters there would be NO story. Diana wrote a beautiful book which took the world by storm and was made into a television series. If the ‘shippers’ don’t like it, then pick up a different book to read… I do not own a Twitter or F/B site , to much negativity .
    waiting for your next post.
    Hugs….

  2. rynawolfe says:

    Thanks! I so appreciate the support. [g] that is just one aspect of the big picture but yeah, if I can interact with people without all the drama I’ll be much happier.

  3. bwismer5 says:

    Sending support to you also, my dear. You tried your best and I, for one, appreciate it. Pretty amazing to me to see that this fandom has been taken over by the ghoulies. I have always been proud of our kindness and care and respect for all. Stay strong, stay committed, but yeah – we’ll never change them. We just have to keep standing for the good things – gratitude, appreciate, and complete and unabashed love for all things “Outlander”.

    • rynawolfe says:

      Oh I’m definitely not giving up on the show…or individual people. Just the fandom at large. I’ve been at this a year and the problems just don’t want to hear. Most of the shippers have had me blocked since my first post. Thanks for the support!

  4. Teresa McRae says:

    I opted out of the Outlander fandom drama a long time ago. I just could not believe that grown women and men could act the way they were. I loved the books and watched the first series on Stars. I have the second series recorded, but I have not been able to watch it yet. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of my great disappointment with the way fans reacted, and all the craziness around the first series, which I thought was done well. Anyway, thank you for your honest and candid blog post. I’m sure there are many of us who turned away when it became too out there.

    • rynawolfe says:

      Teresa – It is a sad thing because the fandom has lost some great people! Fans are still raising money and participating but – just isn’t the same with all the drama going on. I sincerely hope you can enjoy the second season and if you haven’t done it yet, try to get hold of Ron’s podcasts that he does for each episode. Very enlightening and fun! Thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.

  5. Jo Marie Smith says:

    I want to thank you for posting and you have my support. I have only followed “Oulander” on Twitter for I guess 6 months now? Started reading the books in 2014. I’m still getting used to Twitter even though I had the account since 2009, but never really did much to it until my sister got on Twitter and she is a big Outlander fan. I didn’t realized how bad people can be to each other and to the cast and crew. I thought of just bowing out of Twitter, but I’m kind of tired of people creating something so toxic that it ruins it for the rest. I admire you and I hope you will keep writing. This world needs people like you to remind them that we all have a place and opinion and we should respect each other and not tear each other down. You just inspired this gal to do some writing! You go girl!!

    • rynawolfe says:

      Oh Jo thank you! I can’t ask for a better compliment than having inspired someone. I’m not letting anyone run me off Twitter or ruin the show for me, but not going to waste time and energy trying to fix issues that the problem children refuse to see as problems. I hope more of the general ‘fans’ will mute/block them. Not give them the forum to continue their harassment and I honestly hope the ones that are being particularly vile are prosecuted. This whole thing has gone way, way beyond ‘fanning’ to major invasion of privacy. Sam tweeted a year or so ago that just because a person is a celebrity or in public eye doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have some privacy. The ‘shippers’ are not respecting that at all. That is Sam’s thing to deal with, but it creates problems within the fandom and that is everyone’s concern. Thanks for the comment.

  6. dot65jean says:

    So terribly sorry you have had this terrible response from adults who should act their age. I am 69 and love both books and adaptation of Outlander. I do agree that the fandom has gone rather crazy over several aspects of this series. I have enjoyed your posts and appreciate all you have tried to do. Blessings. . .
    Dorothy

  7. Angela D says:

    I came to the fandom rather late. I got the first book out of my local library and was immediately hooked on the wonderful storyline. I thought that because it was a US series that I would never be able to see it on the screen, but then found it about this time last year through Amazon & I was once again hooked by a different medium, then I went in search of the fandom, but in that year I have never been so disgusted to read so much pure hate and misery that came out of some people on SM. I’m one that tried to reason with people, but of course as you’ve said it either falls on deaf ears or you become the target of their hate & venom if you dare to question them & disagree. I am now only keeping to one safe corner of the fandom, where we are trying our best to enjoy it for fun and refuse to get sucked into the venom, there’s quite enough in the real world at the moment. Like you I hope that people who have taken it all much too far will get their comeuppance in time, until then I will have fun & laughter with the best people.

    • rynawolfe says:

      Angela I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a negative fan experience. The fandom has done some truly wonderful things – I did a blog about that too. Unfortunately there is a big difference between fans that enjoy seeing S & C together and posting pics and commenting on what a great team they make and the hard core ‘shippers’ that insist beyond all reason that they ARE ABSOLUTELY a romantic couple. Can’t stop them from ‘fanning’ how they wish, but it would be nice if they would give that same courtesy to others. Hope you can find some great people to interact with and discuss the books and show. Don’t always have to agree, but civility is a must! Thanks for the comment!

  8. *Sigh. Think about this question.

    “How did we ever watch TV shows or read books before the days of twitter?”

    Sounds really dumb, doesn’t it? But we did! And we were perfectly happy and fine, and back then you had to wait a week for the next episode, and that week we spent time discussing and dissecting the show with pals and wondering what new adventures the show would bring next week. Well guess what? WE CAN STILL DO THAT!

    And you can still have a twitter account! Simply unfollow everyone that has anything to do with Outlander! This is a thing that is doable! If you ever find yourself curious about casting or what is going on behind the scenes during Droughtlander, do a Google search, I promise you, IT WILL BE THERE. And above all, remember that we’re adults. Let’s leave the drama to the middle schoolers, where it belongs.

    • rynawolfe says:

      This is a true statement/idea. But what social media is supposed to be good for is an exchange of ideas between PEOPLE. Not google or sitting solitary unable to expand by discussing things with other human beings with different viewpoints from all over the world. Where the fandom has gotten off track is people being absolutely rude/nasty/intrusive to other people and their opinions. All the things I have mentioned in MANY posts – and it just isn’t stopping. Yes, you can unfollow and mute and block…but even that only does so much good because this person retweets what that person retweeted of what another person tweeted in the first place. It doesn’t stop the abuse. I want the option of being on Twitter to discuss and enjoy the show, find out news, see what new cast members are like from THEIR tweets without being attacked for a differing opinion. That is simply expecting grownups to act like mature adults. If people can’t act like mature adults and discuss ANYTHING (shipping, politics, religion, etc.) without being mean, rude, abusive, denigrating or similar nastiness, perhaps they should be removed from social media. Big difference between ‘free speech’ to express yourself and abusing other human beings for disagreeing with you.
      I’m not letting anyone run me off Twitter – I said I’m done dealing with the fandom drama and politics. This post and the responses will likely tell me a lot about who I want to avoid in the future.

      • I understand where you’re coming from and empathize. I wouldn’t suggest allowing yourself to be run off twitter, but you _can_ engage with other fans without following a ton of them. People tend to be bolder on SM behind the mask of their user icons and sadly, that will never, ever change.

        And I didn’t say this in my last post, but I love your blog. You’re a talented writer! Thank you for responding.

  9. traceymfs says:

    Thank you for your blogs Beth. They are always so insightful, interesting and sometimes challenging! I too have despaired of the fandom at times. I have been with Outlander since it’s conception, both the books and the show. it was so exciting in the early days of the show to see it come to life. Now I almost feel embarrassed to say I am a fan. However, so much good has come of it, so many people have had their lives changed for the better because of it, that there is something in me that optimistically hopes that the good will override the bad. I don’t say much about the shippers on Twitter, usually because I don’t see it until well after the event. Did get into an interesting discussion the other day that could have gone either way though. Felt like i was being put back in my box every time i responded. No discussion, just comebacks. Sigh. I know it’s hard to discuss in 140 characters, but it is possible. thank goodness for the huge hearts of our leads, and their team that they continue to chat , albeit much more briefly than before. And thank you again for adding to the experience.

    • rynawolfe says:

      I appreciate that. I wish more people felt that way. I’m not good at ‘self-promoting’…guess I always sort of hope if people find what I write helpful they will pass it along. This particular blog has only 150 views after 3 days. A bare fraction of the fandom. The shipper side won’t read it as it disagrees with their ideas – but I just don’t feel like I’m doing any good. Times I wrote about a topic like ‘the spanking’ I had thousands of views – but trying to work on issues/problems *shrug*

  10. I’m relatively new to the SM fandom this year (started watching show/reading books last year) and generally follow the goodies out there who don’t create drama. Alas, I still come across some baddies and it’s disgraceful. Here’s to the positive ones like you that make it better!

  11. 26LettersAK says:

    Hi Beth Well discovered why I had been missing your blog and feeling very silly about it as I know better – it had been going to my SPAM folder which I can’t fathom as I have been reading you for a while and have you filed in your own folder. Defeated by technology again. Sigh…just like SM it seems. I had read Outlander in 1994 at a friend’s recommendation and then found the other books available at the time and waited patiently for each new installment. These days I continue to wait patiently though SM makes that more difficult. I am pretty sure you have done a blog about youth and SM and how impatient and/or demanding they can be. Lately It seems it isn’t just young people being so demanding. Entitlement comes to mind when I see people making demands – demands on the OL actors, the writers, the showrunner. I do turn away as I don’t seem to have the words other than, ‘gosh is that really necessary?!’ You are right, I mostly have opted out in responding as usually it makes my stomach turn and I have a life to participate in. So apologies for not trying to change things. When I go back to check I in it is just very draining and I would like to keep my engagement with things Outlander on a fun level if possible as it has always been a nice kind of escape from any problems I might be dealing with at the time. Ok enough rambling. I still love reading your blog! Barb

    • rynawolfe says:

      My own folder eh? I’m humbled. Thank you, Barb.
      Standing up to the ‘problem children’ needed to be a group effort and we just didn’t have enough ‘group’. All we can do is keep doing what we do and hope sense rules out in the end. Working on a Frank post – life is not being terribly cooperative.

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