That title can be taken a couple of ways – and both are accurate.
There are people that have ‘Healing Hearts’ – they reach out to those hurting and act as a soothing balm to help ‘heal’ hurts.
There are also hearts that are in the process of healing. People suffering from physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual attacks, injuries and pain.
The entire country (U.S.) has just finished a very nasty campaign process for the Presidency. Friendships and families have been ripped apart for taking opposing sides. Half the country will be breathing a sigh of relief, gearing up for the next steps – while the other half will be feeling totally betrayed by the system, terrified of what the next four years will bring and lots of anger. (Maybe not a 50-50 split, there are many that hate the choices all around, already feel betrayed and angry and just want to do the best they can with what they get).
No matter who voted for who – we are ALL Americans and, once the election is over – need to have ‘Healing Hearts’ in both directions. Working together to make the best of however the election turned out and bust ass to make sure we are never in this position again. Putting aside differences to make a better future for the whole country.
Exactly what I said above – but insert ‘Outlander Clandom’. The ‘shipping’ war has caused some really bad feelings/hurt/damage not only by/to the ‘super-shippers’ but by/to the ‘super-truthers’ as well. In my opinion, this is a very small contingency of very loud, rude, obnoxious people on BOTH SIDES of this conflict. It really is time to put the nastiness aside for the betterment of the entire fandom. For the ‘super’ fans on both sides – I think the vast majority of the fandom would like you to ‘take it outside’ and leave the rest of us in peace. Same goes for those who can’t discuss logically what they do/don’t like without resorting to nastiness, name-calling and generally being vile.
I can’t tell anyone what to do – wouldn’t want that responsibility. When I write a blog like this I am giving MY opinion and observations. That’s it. MY perspective. Do with it what you will. Take it on board and adjust actions/thought process or don’t. Use any suggestions I might make here or don’t. The only person that can do anything about YOU is the person reading this.
That having been said, a few ideas.
Do your best to have calm, in-depth discussions with someone whose views oppose yours on a regular basis. Expand your thinking and get different perspectives. You may not change your mind about the given topic, but it might help you understand where the other person is coming from and find important common ground.
If another person is being rude, disrespectful, mean or attacking – disengage or do not engage. Engaging at that point gives them a platform and outlet for being nasty. If on social media, something truly offensive, should be reported. Take that step with calm thought and some checking. You may have just caught them at a really bad time and it was a one off lashing out rather than a consistent pattern of behavior. I’m sure there have been times when people have been kicked out of/blocked from social media platforms simply because someone was angry rather than for good reason.
Don’t be easily offended. Don’t take everything as a personal attack. Really look at it, examine how this person is with others, examine past interactions. If this person is truly a bigot or sexist (or whatever offensive) – walk away. Or, if the situation allows, have that discussion and exchange of ideas. Perhaps they do not realize what they are saying is offensive. (Yes that IS possible). Perhaps no one ever really discussed it with them. If you can’t do that calmly – don’t. Walk / scroll away and don’t engage that person. Block/mute them from your social media. This saves you getting frustrated/angry with them, and them getting frustrated/angry with you.
Take personal responsibility. If you got/get angry and spout off…own it. Apologize or at least calmly, rationally explain your anger/frustration/whatever. If you have a particularly strong belief, it’s fine to express that but once expressed, if it can’t be discussed rationally without it turning nasty, stop. Own what you do on social media – don’t hide behind fake accounts. I can see some people protecting their professional lives/job with a different persona on SM – but that doesn’t excuse creating an account with the express purpose of stirring up shit then disappearing.
Spread some kindness, peace, harmony, goodwill………….love.
There are thousands of great memes out there (I found the four in this blog in about 5 minutes plus several more). Make your own. Post them, RT / share them when you see them. Encourage people. Send positive vibes out there. Drown the crap in good energy. One candle lights another that lights another that lights another until few ‘shadows’ can remain.
In the end, we are all in this together. At this point we have this one planet and we – as human beings – need to start taking better care of each other. If we can’t do it as a microcosm fandom for some books that have evolved into a TV show – how are we ever going to survive as a species?