Done with the Drama

Once again (and aren’t we all just sick of this) bloggers all over the Outlander Clandom are writing about the war between the S-shippers and NSTs. Yet another battle a couple of days ago that drew in a journalist and made her SM time a living hell for hours (and there seem to be issues ongoing two days later). In the end, in concern for her safety, she ‘softened’ her ‘tone’ on an article that was in no way inflammatory unless someone chose to make it so. Many did. See her response here on FB:

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One of the sweetest ladies I know on Twitter sent out a plea not only for people to stop attacking her for voicing her opinion/feelings – but for her friends stop telling her to just ‘get over it’. I watched her try for hours to converse with some of the people involved in the mess; being incredibly kind and patient and all she got in return was slapped. It’s very sad.

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Two blogs have been written on Tumbler in the last couple of days by the same lady and they are spot on. Clear, concise – addressing the issue without attacking any specific person. If someone gets pissy about these commentaries, it tells me the shoe is fitting them a bit too well. These are on Tumbler (which I tend to avoid as a rule) but are well worth the read if you haven’t seen them already.

 FEMINEST ISSUES IN THE OUTLANDER FANDOM:

and

A “MIDDLE WAY” PERSPECTIVE:

I’d love to see this happen. Shippers are going to ship and, while I disagree with the practice of shipping RL people (think I’ve made that perfectly clear in the past), the only person on the planet I can control is ME. With that in mind….here is the deal for me as a fan of the Outlander phenomenon and all the marvelous people that make it happen.

 I don’t give two bloody shakes about what you do on your own timeline or in private conversations. I’d raise a serious eyebrow of doubt if ANY fan did not admit to at least one smoking fantasy with some celebrity at some point in their life. Normal….I have (though not with Sam). I’ve even known people who write them out as a fiction/fantasy story – and some are quite good. Shared PRIVATELY. Or…if the writing really is good….change the names and enough of the circumstances to avoid embarrassing yourself and let others see it.

What I can’t grasp is how anyone who claims to be a “fan” of ANY ‘celebrity’ – in this case Sam & Caitriona – would purposely do or write things that would embarrass them, make them angry or even hurt them. How is that being a ‘fan’?! How are being nasty to other ‘fans’, cyber-stalking, actual stalking, mobbing people that disagree with you, using foul language, threatening violence/sexual assault and basically being a vile human being things that would endear you to the very person/people you ‘fan’? Having such toxic followers – and it IS getting around the media that a small percentage of the Outlander fandom is extremely toxic and has caused some to stop covering Outlander – might limit Sam & Caitriona’s chances at future jobs because the producers don’t want to deal with it. It might give STARZ/Sony serious pause about renewing for a fifth season of Outlander. The fandom is very vocal about how much pull they think they have (voting for various polls/awards, Twitter/FB trending, live tweets, etc.) so that means they can have just as much a negative effect as a positive one.

How would any one of you feel if some person you didn’t know watched your every move on social media, then wrote explicit sex scenes between you and a co-worker they picked off your company website and posted them all over social media for the world to see? Discussed your sex life and who you may or may not be fucking? (yes – I saw a screen cap of comments made about Sam and that was the language used). How would any one of you feel if you got hundreds to thousands of tweets/IG’s/FB comments a DAY telling you who you should be shagging in your own private life? That you should just get busy and make babies with a specific person? What you should do, who you should be with, how to conduct your personal affairs? Had these same people sending tweets or other SM messages to your friends/family/co-workers accusing them of lying to cover up a relationship you have denied or asking why they aren’t supporting the relationship that is there? This is what some – supposed – “fans” are doing on a daily basis. And before anyone starts screaming – BOTH sides of this war are guilty of all these things. (To clarify…not all from either side are doing all these things. There is a small percentage making a whole group/faction look bad.)

For those of you – on either/any side – engaging in these sorts of behaviors….realize you are not a fan. You are purposely doing things to hurt others including the objects of your supposed affection. I’m not talking about ‘shipping’. I mean the list (in italics) two paragraphs above. There is no excuse for that sort of behavior and I seriously hope civil and/or criminal charges will start being brought against people who do things like this.

For those of you who choose to get offended about EVERYTHING…..get over yourselves already. A note about William Shatner here. He is who he is. Anyone who has followed him for even a few days should be able to see he has a very acerbic sense of humor. He is caustic and can seem very offending if you choose to take it that way. He’s taken a couple of slaps at me – I laughed. I understood the source and didn’t assume he was ‘attacking’ me or being mean – he was just being himself. If you don’t like his style and personality – stop following/interacting with him. It really is that simple. If you truly feel he has gone off the deep offensive end, report it and move on. Oh….and if you manipulate a harsh response from someone, pushing them to say something they wouldn’t normally – don’t pansy out and cry victim. If you started something, own it.

I am not easily offended. If someone calls me a fat-assed cow (yes I’ve been called that) it stings a bit but I realize the person is obviously stupid and move on. I assume people that stoop to such things have no concept of social skills or their own sense of self and pity them. Why get offended by stupidity? That is where I am with this whole war. The people that are stooping to this vile behavior (again…I am NOT talking about shipping in and of itself, even though I don’t agree with the practice) you are not worth my time, energy or emotions. I’ll spare you some pity that you are so miserable in your own life you feel you must attack others – but I have other things to do. I like Outlander, Sam, Cait and the other people involved in the show – but it is not the center of my universe.

For those of you being attacked for stating your own thoughts/feelings/ideas – report where appropriate, take legal steps if necessary and keep this in mind:

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If you don’t agree with me – that’s fine. Be respectful – use your grown up words to articulate your displeasure and/or thoughts. If you want to take a slap at me in the comments, that is ok too – but use your name. I won’t post anything under ‘anonymous’ as that is just a lame cop-out. You have an opinion, own it.

Note: I did a very slight edit for clarification.

DAILY LUV & APPRECIATION

I left ‘home’ (our sailboat) on July 12, 2016 to help my mate deliver (sail) another sailboat from San Diego back up to San Francisco for a friend. The job was supposed to take about two weeks max and be sort of a working vacation for my guy. He got paid for this and it got him out away from his daily grind and on the water sailing.

Unfortunately, there were several mechanical/electrical/engine problems that delayed us many days and we just finally got back to San Fran and our own boat yesterday (8/6/16). During this time I was seldom on the computer and when I was it was to check email and touch base with my BFF in Portugal.

I must say I did NOT miss all the whining, insults, mud-slinging, name calling, and nastiness that the Outlander fandom is in the midst of. Looking on Twitter today – SMH – if anything things seem to have gotten worse and I know I haven’t really seen any of the ‘bad’ stuff.

Here is the deal with me in this ‘war’…..I hate IRL ‘shipping’ – especially when the REAL people have made it very clear in statements they are NOT a couple. I don’t hate the people DOING the shipping – I hate the shipping itself. I don’t know the people involved – I don’t attack them personally. I will always stand against that practice. I’ve done blogs on this specifically if you want to review. Why I Hate RL ‘shipping’ and Serious Line: Fan to Fanatic

There are many in the Outlander Clandom that want to get away from all the crap and fighting and be positive. Mika (@A_Badassunicorn) came up with the idea of #HugsforHeughan today as some ‘fans’ had been vile on his timeline recently. I thought, ‘why not a person each day of the week’……then I thought ‘why not expand it to EVERY day’! Maybe we can find a # that will trend easily and can be used for ALL these tweets/positive energy. #ThankfulFor or #AppreciationTweet or #GivingLuvs

Here is a calendar I just threw together. Feel free to use it, copy it, post it, share it, print it off, add to it, change it or just make your own.  I used people’s birthdates where I knew them (i.e. Cait’s birthday is Oct 4 so her day is the 4th of any given month, etc.). Once I got people in by birthdates, I filled in the blanks with people whose birthdays I didn’t know/couldn’t find and other areas that should be singled out for praise and acknowledgement (IMHO).

Calendar of Luvs and Appreciation

This is by no means an exhaustive listing – I put this together in about 20 minutes. If you really dislike someone on the list or just don’t feel enough to give them time, replace them with someone you think is important/special to you! Add others! HECK! Cut the Outlander stuff down and put in other actors or friends or groups or whatever you think deserve some LUVS!

The idea is to have a visual reminder that someone, somewhere could use and deserves some LUV & APPRECIATION every single day. I personally want to get into a habit of dishing out good, positive vibes and having this visual reminder will help me do that.

We will not all agree on everything about Outlander, it’s actors or any of the people associated with it. We will not all like each other or some of the things we do. We CAN all stay more positive, not make personal attacks and have fun without being snotty. It’s a choice. Choose wisely. (or you know, you’ll wither away to a creepy skeleton and the ceiling will fall in burying what’s left)